


First Comes Love

by Renai_chan



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Baby!Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2012-12-11
Packaged: 2017-11-20 20:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renai_chan/pseuds/Renai_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve disappears, so Tony adopts his daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Comes Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LePeru (Nizah)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nizah/gifts).



> Based off of this kink meme: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/7940.html?thread=15014916t15014916
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> _Steve is missing after a mission for some time, and his friends think he's dead. Then his ex-girlfriend (Natasha, Sharon Carter from comic!verse or any OC or canon character of your liking) finds out she became pregnant with Steve's child. She can't take care of the baby for whatever reason and decides to give it up for adoption. Tony, as Steve's best friend, offers his assistance. When the child is born, Tony is already very attached to him/her and adopts him/her himself, though he has many reservations about whether he’s able to be a good father or not._
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> _After one year/a few years, Steve is able to come back (he was in a coma? He lost his memory during that time, then regained? He was trapped beyond some portal, in some other reality? The tesseract sent him in the near future?). What he's going to do when he find out the blond Tony's child is actually his own son/daughter?_
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> _Steve/Tony ending, please._
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> _Bonus: preferred Tony being secretly in love with Steve, and Steve thought Tony as a friend, but when he’s back he finds out he was actually in denial about his real feelings for Tony._
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> _Bonus 2: The baby is a catalyst for Steve and Tony getting together._
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> _Bonus 3: The team-mates living there become attached to the child too and help to take care of him/her, particularly so when there are missions._
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>    
> (Not too much focus on the team though.)
> 
> On a different note, I'm looking for a beta to help me out, I mean help me look out for typos and plot holes and give me good constructive feedback on my stories. I'm not sure about how the whole beta thing works (i.e. how to look for one, what the beta does, etc.) 'coz I've never had one before, so I'd be glad for any info on it. I think it would help in so many aspects if I had someone to read through the story before I post it. Any suggestions/recommendations/advice are welcome.

He’s gone, and Tony’s heart shatters into a million pieces.

 

……………

 

A ray of blue light—and it’s always, _always_ blue light—hits Steve square in the chest, right on the white star that decorates it, just as Tony aims and fires a repulsor at Oblivion in an attempt to thwart him. And then Steve disappears, without a word, without a sound, without any trace.

 

Tony ignores the felled villain and rushes to the spot where Steve vanished, but there’s only faint blue smoke left in his wake.

 

After that, there’s a mad rush to find him. Oblivion is carted off in an ambulance, in critical condition and possibly a coma after Tony had hit him. He’s in no state to give up information, so Tony has JARVIS analyze the weapon and the smoke. SHIELD calls in Reed Richards, the foremost expert in multidimensional travel, to confer with Thor when JARVIS explains that the weapon is designed to harness the Tessaract’s power to transport people and things into other dimensions.

 

If their opponent hadn’t already been comatose, Tony would have blasted him again—after that debacle with Loki, he’s developed a distinct distaste for anything related to the Tessaract, and working with Richards isn’t a bonus either.

 

Loathe as he is, however, he, Bruce, Thor, and Jane Foster spend a lot of time with Reed over the next few weeks, searching and searching and working on getting Steve back. Thor hops to Asgard several times during and gets his mother and father to help them. It’s only when Thor swallows his pride and decides to ask Loki, still captive in the Asgardian prisons, that they get the conclusion they’ve been dreading and ignoring.

 

Thor doesn’t tell them that Loki laughs in sadistic delight when he hears the news, doesn’t tell them about the gleeful tone in which he says, “There’s nothing you can do, brother dear. There is no way to retrieve someone you’ve sent away. If the Captain were to return, it would be of his own doing from wherever dimension he is.” And then he adds. “But don’t get your hopes up; not every dimension is the same as ours. For all we know, he could have been sent to the prehistoric ages.”

 

Tony is distraught. He spends weeks in his workshop developing machine after machine after machine that is designed to detect Steve’s presence anywhere in the world so that if— _when!_ Always “when”—when he does show up, Tony will be there in an instant.

 

And then days pass, and weeks pass and months pass and Tony’s shattered heart falls away piece by piece.

 

……………

 

It’s only by accident that he finds out.

 

He’s hacking into SHIELD’s servers, intent on gaining access to their satellite systems in order to upload his program that will detect Steve’s presence. He’ll later do that same for every other major satellite in space so that no corner of the globe will go unnoticed.

 

He accesses Nick’s computer remotely and works his way through there to avoid detection (Because even if the code monkeys down at IT manage to discover his trails (of which there would be only tiny, tiny microscopic ones), no one would think to question SHIELD’s director). And then he sees it, opened up as if Nick had been right in the middle of scanning it before being called away. It takes him only a second to recognize what it is and then his eyes widen and fists clench.

 

He didn’t think to question why Nick would concern himself with such trivialities—after all, in between ensuring America’s security from other worldly threats and taking over the world, approving maternity leaves wouldn’t even _be_ on his list of tasks. But if an agent of Sharon Carter’s caliber were to make such a request, Nick would most likely be one of the first to know.

 

Add that to the fact that she’d been screwing Captain America just before he disappeared and her maternity leave becomes Matter of Great Importance.

 

Tony struggles to swallow around the lump of jealousy stuck in his throat and then makes his way to his bathroom. After all, he has to congratulate his best friend’s girl on her pregnancy.

 

……………

 

“So,” he starts, leaning against the entrance of her cubicle in a carelessly insouciant smirk on his lips. He tries to keep himself from glancing down at her stomach and mentally congratulates himself for managing to keep his glances down to two. “I hear congratulations are in order.” Sharon glares at him.

 

“I remember that talk the Director had with you when you were recruited about hacking into SHIELD computers. He told you not to,” she said, sidestepping the comment altogether. Nick likes Sharon like he likes Maria and Natasha; they were the worse cops to his bad cop shtick, so he often takes them along when someone—often Tony—needs intimidating. Tony wasn’t immune to them, but the fear for his genitals lasts as long as his attention span would allow: all of five minutes after said talks. Tony’s smirk widens as she neither confirms nor denies his words.

 

“The Director should know by now that telling me what to do will get him the exact opposite results,” he shoots back, and Sharon holds her glare for all of five terrifying minutes before sighing deeply.

 

“What do you want, Stark?” she asks. Tony softens his smirk into a smile and prays that it looks sincere.

 

“Hey, can’t a guy congratulate his best friend’s girl?” he asks, holding out his palms, but Sharon doesn’t smile and Tony tries not to frown at that. “Have you had lunch?” he asks instead, well aware that it was only about eleven in the morning. She opens her mouth to answer, but he cuts her off. “Of course you haven’t. I know this great place. Expensive place. Sure to suit all your cravings.” He waggles his eyebrows. Sharon looks at her watch. “Come on,” he wheedles, holding out an elbow for her to take. “You’ll like it. I promise.” She sighs again deeply and stands. But before she takes his arm, she takes her handgun out of her desk drawer, lifts her skirt and tucks it carefully into her thigh holster.

 

Tony wisely stays shut.

 

……………

 

Their lunch is quieter than Tony’s used to. He tries and fails, several different times, to fill up the tenseness with inane babble and unsubtle flirting like he always does, but each attempt falls flat. His heart wasn’t into it, and Sharon wasn’t responsive anyway.

 

In the eight months she and Steve had been dating, Tony had never really spent time alone with her. Dinners with her, whether outside or at the tower, were always accompanied by Steve (and/or any of their other teammates) where he and Steve would spend hours talking about various missions and other non-work-related activities, especially those that were particularly humorous. They’d banter and pick on each other and sometimes flirt with each other teasingly until they realized Sharon was left out, and they’d stop to include her in the conversation. Other than those dinners and other similar outings, the only time Tony and Sharon would cross paths was at SHIELD headquarters where they’d run briefly into each other, greet each other shortly and go about their business.

 

He has nothing against Sharon, really. In fact, he was rather amicable with her during the times they were together. But before today, he hadn’t gone out of his way to forge any real connection with her.

 

“So, when are you due?” he asks politely. He knows of course. Sharon stops poking at her meal to look up, an eyebrow raised because she knew he knew.

 

“In October,” she answers anyway. Tony nods and again is at a loss for words, which as anyone knows, is an extremely rare occurrence. He’d been brought up to know how to talk to people, how to dole out polite conversation in order to create important connections. Talking to someone who he already _had_ important connections with shouldn’t be this hard.

 

“Do you have any plans yet?” he asks again. “There’s always room for you in the tower, and I’d be glad to help you out until he gets back.” _If he gets back_ , screamed the silence. She always took up space in Steve’s room when she stayed at the tower, and Tony had never thought to set her up with her own space. He supposed he could just rearrange Steve’s floor to include a nursery for the baby. Sharon was silent for a while and resumes poking at her meal, which Tony finds odd because he’s never seen her anything but certain and collected.

 

“I'm giving her away,” she finally says. Tony freezes, his glass of wine halfway to his mouth. He puts it down carefully before he drops it.

 

“What?” he says. The question was rhetorical, he thinks. “Why?” It’s the more important question. Sharon sighs and puts down her fork with the same care Tony did to his glass.

 

“Stark, I’m telling you this because you’re his best friend, and since he isn’t here to hear this, you’re the next best thing. But this… this stays between us—between the three of us when he comes back.” _If he comes back,_ the silence screams again. Tony nods. She takes a deep breath. “I love him, I really do. He makes me happy and feel loved, and he’s the most perfect man I have ever met. I don’t want to lose him, and if this hadn’t happened, I probably wouldn’t. But it _is_ happening and I will.” She pauses. “I’m going to sound ridiculous and shallow, and I’ll understand if neither you nor he ever talk to me again. But.” She breathes in deeply. “But I can’t lose my job. I’ve lived my entire life wanting to be where I am right now, and I can’t bear the thought of that changing. I can’t be what is expected of me: at home, caring for the kids—”

 

“You know he’s not going to expect that from you. You know he’s going to offer to retire himself just so that you keep doing what you want,” Tony cuts in.

 

“And that’s so completely unfair. I don’t want him to stop being Captain America just so I could continue to be Agent 13. That would be selfish of me. The world needs Captain America more than it needs Agent 13.”

 

“There are always babysitters or nannies, people who could care for the kid while you’re gone,” Tony suggests.

 

“Even then, there are still obligations I would have towards him or her that can’t be passed off to a nanny. I can’t be tied down like that, Tony.” She shuts her eyes briefly as she struggles to tell him her thoughts. “I can’t work at headquarters and be rushing to get home at six because my child is expecting me. I can’t go off to missions in Russia for weeks at a time, wondering if my child is missing me and if he or she has eaten and taken his or her vitamins. I can’t be called home unexpectedly because he or she is sick. I can’t take days off because of his soccer game or her recital or a PTA. I can’t do _any_ of the things that are expected of a mother… of a _parent_. I want to, but I just _can’t_ and it wouldn’t be fair to the child to have a parent like that.” Steve’s role in the child’s life wasn’t mentioned.

 

Tony is silent. He understands her love for her job—he _does—_ and he thinks that her giving up the child to a family who can actually take care of him or her is probably the more responsible option than becoming the parent Howard was to him (even if she was already better than him just for _wanting_ to be there). He thinks that, maybe if Howard hadn’t been so focused on raising him to be his heir, he probably would have done the same thing.

 

He thinks how that would have been so much better, to have a family who wanted him for him, and not for furthering his legacy.

 

But he also thinks how devastated Steve would be when he gets back ( _If! IF!_ The voice in his head screams and Tony wants to strangle it.), and finds that his child has been given away without his consent.

 

They spend a long time in silence and when the bill is delivered, Tony finally speaks.

 

“Let me help you,” he tells her. “I want to help you go through this the way I know Steve would want to do for you. I’ll take care of everything, your medical bills, your housework, your clothes even. Everything. And then I’ll—I’ll help you look for a family for the baby, someone we can be sure of who’ll take care of him or her well.” Sharon spends a long time considering him and then nods once.

 

……………

 

She was going to the Carsons in Kentucky, a young couple who couldn’t conceive their own. The wife was a home baker and made beautiful, decorated cakes; the man was a successful medical representative, making a decent earning. They lived in a moderately large two-story home in the suburbs right beside a park where, every afternoon, children played and housewives met to exchange recipes. It was a scene straight out of the movies, sane, happy and normal, and was exactly the reason why Tony had chosen them.

 

He had met them exactly four times, and Sharon had given her approval. They’ve been background checked, briefed—though the fact that she was Captain America and Agent 13’s daughter was kept silent—and signed the necessary non-disclosure agreements. Tony transferred an impressive amount of money to them as part of the baby’s trust fund and for their own expenses for a good five years at least, paid off their debts and mortgages and had their home renovated, modernized and baby-proofed to the highest standards. When Sharon went into labor, they’d been airlifted to New York via his smallest private plane and brought to the SHIELD medical facility via helicopter where they sat in the waiting room.

 

Tony is in the delivery room, standing in for Steve who has yet to return, and when the doctor asks if he would like the honor of cutting the umbilical chord, he stammers rather ridiculously that he isn’t the father (and receives _looks_ in return), but nods anyway. And then the baby is washed and wrapped and handed to him, and he takes her carefully—so very, very _afraid_ that he’d drop her. When she is in his arms, his eyes start to water because she looks so much— _so much_ —like Steve. He mentally thanks the nurses and doctors and promises to himself to make an obscene donation to the hospital when they ignore his half-choked sobs.

 

He looks towards Sharon, and she shakes her head at him when he lifts the baby and asks “Do you…?” He nods back and stares back down at the baby in his arms. He refuses to let go of her and asks for a few more minutes when the nurse asks for her.

 

“Hey, baby,” he murmurs softly and then gives into impulse and brushes his lips against her forehead. She fidgets and whimpers against his scratchy goatee but settles down shortly after. “You’re so beautiful…” he whispers, his eyes starting to burn again, and then he blinks away the tears and hands her back to the nurse before coming to Sharon’s side. “You okay?” he asks, brushing a hand across her sweaty forehead. Sharon stares at him thoughtfully and then grasps his hand.

 

“Tony,” she says. “I’ve changed my mind.” Tony’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he blinks. “Come here,” she says, tugging him down until he’s kneeling on the tiled floor. She cups one cheek and rubs away the wet tear tracks. “I want you to have her.” It’s said so very simply that it takes Tony another minute to understand what she’s saying. “I want you to have her because you need her,” Sharon continues. “I know that look on your face; you have it on whenever you’re with Steve. Like you’re giving up the very thing you love, but you’ve accepted that you have to do so. And in the past, I so very, very hated it because I was so very jealous of you and him. But now, I know that I’ve ruined my chance with him, and that you deserve your chance, and in the absence of that chance, you deserve her.”

 

“I can’t,” Tony chokes. His throat feels tight, so he swallows twice to loosen it. “I can’t. I’m a horrible person, Sharon, and I’m certainly going to be a horrible father. I’ve got the role model to prove it,” he says. It’s meant to be a joke, but he means every word much too much.

 

“You won’t,” Sharon frowns. “Because if you do, I’ll be there to kick your ass all the way to Siberia.” She means it as a joke, too, but Tony doesn’t smile. She pulls him closer and presses a kiss to his forehead. “You aren’t going to be a horrible father. You have a role model that showed you just how _not_ to do it. Just think ‘what would Howard do?’ and do the very opposite.” That gets a watery smile out of him. “You’re going to make mistakes—of course you are—but you love her and you’re going to learn, and I promise, I _promise_ that I won’t ever, ever get in your way. I’m giving up all my rights towards raising her, and I’m just going to be her cool Aunt Sharon, okay?” Tony shuts his eyes and presses his forehead to the bed beside her. He says nothing else, but his shoulders shake violently.

 

……………

 

There’s an unfamiliar noise coming from one corner of his workshop. It takes him a while to notice because his music is blaring so loudly that JARVIS has to alert him to it. It’s tinny and sharp and its repetitive tune is so very familiar, but couldn’t for the life of him remember what it is.

 

“What is that, JARV?” he asks, shutting the music off and putting down his tools. He makes his way toward the noise and picks up a small beeper-like object (and really, a _beeper_?). He looks at the words on the screen just above the blinking red light and then he realizes what it is. It falls from his hands as he falls to the floor in shock. “That’s… that’s…” he stutters.

 

“ _I would suggest going up to the living room right now, sir_ ,” JARVIS says. He’s unnaturally cryptic, but Tony is already halfway to his feet and running upstairs; he already knows what he’ll find there.

 

He stumbles into the living room, gracelessly and finds himself staring into one very, very familiar smiling face.

 

“Hi, Tony,” Steve greets brightly, mischievously, looking as if not a day had passed since he disappeared. Overwhelming grief suddenly grasps at Tony’s heart, and he stumbles forward and launches himself into Steve’s arms.

 

“Oh my god. Oh my god, you’re okay,” he stutters, hiding his face in his friend’s chest to hide the tears that were collecting in the corners of his eyes. Steve is surprised, but hugs him back tightly anyway, chuckling.

 

“I’m fine,” he answers fondly, squeezing him tighter. “After I was hit, I found myself in the same place, only none of you were there anymore, not Oblivion, not you, not SHIELD. In fact, there were no signs of battle at all, so I made my way back to the Tower only to find that I’ve been sent to an alternate universe where you’re…” He coughs. “You’re a woman.” Tony jerks out of his embrace to look at him.

 

“I’ve been Rule 63’d?” he asks.

 

“Rule… what?” Steve looks so very confused.

 

“Never mind. How did you get back? We tried _everything_ , but Loki says we couldn’t pull you back from here,” Tony explains. He fails to remember that they still have their arms around each other.

 

“You, Reed, Jane, Thor and Loki all helped get me back. Took them three months—longer than I would have liked, but they managed eventually, so I’m thankful anyway.” This time, Tony steps back and away.

 

“Three months?”

 

“Yeah. What’s happened? God, Nick must be _furious_!” He chuckles at his own joke, then frowns when Tony doesn’t follow suit. “Tony?”

 

“Three months?” Tony repeats, his voice a whisper of disbelief. “Steve, you’ve been gone five years.” And only then does Steve notice the lines on Tony’s face, the slight graying of his hair where there was none before. He doesn’t have time to respond though, because they hear the front door open and then another voice calls him from the doorway.

 

“Steve?” It was Clint who spoke, standing beside Natasha, both of them looking like deer caught in headlights.

 

“Five years?” Steve asks them, as if he can’t believe it, as if Tony would _lie_ about it. Clint nods dumbly, but says nothing else. The front door shuts loudly out of Tony’s view, but he hears footsteps near the living room.

 

“Hey, so we got her two…” Phil trails off slowly when he sees Clint and Natasha blocking the living room and further on, Steve standing in it. Silence and disbelief overcomes him as well. Steve stares at him for a long minute before suddenly falling to his knees, dumbstruck. Tony, too, falls to his knees to pull him into a hug, holding tight as if Steve was in danger of disappearing again, and then Steve breaks and presses his face into Tony’s chest, clutching at his shirt. He, too, was afraid of disappearing again—another five years maybe or another seventy.

 

“Papa?” a small voice pipes up, tiny and hesitant, and both Tony and Steve freeze. It is inevitable that Steve is going to meet her, that much Tony knows and has accepted, but Tony suddenly dreads the fact that Steve is back. The bigger man lifts his head and sees a small blond girl peeking through Clint’s legs. Then he looks up at Tony and makes the connection.

 

“She’s yours,” he says. It isn’t a question, but Tony nods anyway, terrified though he was. He lets go of Steve and opens his arms to his daughter. She runs forward and burrows into his chest, staring suspiciously at Steve. This close, Steve can see her blue, blue eyes. “She’s beautiful,” he says, but the sentiment tastes bland in his mouth. He can only think of the woman Tony managed to knock up—marry, _marry_! (He shouldn’t think of his best friend uncharitably.) “She takes after her mother?” he hazards a guess. Tony shakes his head and tightens his grip around the girl.

 

“Her father.” Steve frowns in confusion. “She’s adopted,” Tony explains. Steve can’t explain the relief that courses through him.

 

“She’s beautiful,” he repeats instead, and this time, he really means it. He turns to her. “Hi. I’m Steve Rogers. What’s your name?” He holds out his hand to shake and smiles softly. The girl’s eyes look at his hand briefly, then back up to his eyes, but says nothing, only burrows further into Tony’s arms.

 

“Sweetheart, it’s not polite not to answer,” Tony admonishes gently, and Steve’s heart jumps at the tender rebuke.

 

“I’m Sarah,” she says but doesn’t take his hand. Steve doesn’t mind and drops it.

 

“Hello, Sarah,” he says instead. “That’s a pretty name. You know, my mother was named Sarah, too.” The girl doesn’t answer, so Steve looks back up at Tony with a smile, but Tony looks _terrified_. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks with a frown.

 

“Captain,” Phil suddenly says. Everyone turns to him and Tony almost breathes a sigh of relief. “The Director will want to know of your return.” Steve nods with a small sigh and says his goodbyes to Sarah.

 

……………

 

He’s holed up in his room later that evening after his identity has been confirmed and he’s been caught up to the things he’s missed since his disappearance. It was like waking up from the ice all over again except that everyone was thankfully—so very thankfully—alive and well.

 

He knows now that Bruce took a sabbatical two years ago, but returned soon enough, more comfortable with and in better control of the Hulk than ever.

 

Clint and Phil finally admitted to being an item after Thor accidentally outed them during a debriefing three years ago. Natasha would have won the pool, but she had been banned from joining (by Nick, the bookkeeper) on grounds that she already knew. It was Bruce who won, but only because—and he admitted this to Steve later—Betty made an offhand comment about them.

 

Natasha is still the scariest and most capable agent on SHIELD payroll, with Maria coming in second. Phil would have been, but apparently having a relationship with the resident prankster was enough to drag down his “cred” to a close third.

 

Thor had recently been thinking about marrying Jane and had even asked Steve for advice on how to go about it. Steve declined to give an opinion, though, mostly because he spent the last three months (five years?) in a universe where Thor was happily engaged to a saner version of Loki. He decided not to tell him that.

 

Pepper had married Happy in a small ceremony, and Tony and Rhodey were the best men (Tony was totally the maid of honor).

 

Tony adopted Sarah a little over four years ago when she was newly born and that Pepper is her godmother and Rhodey, her godfather with all of the other Avengers and JARVIS as honorary godparents. He hadn’t asked why he’d adopted her or who Sarah’s real parents were; he didn’t think that was polite. Tony had also taken over as leader of the team, under Phil’s _strict_ guidance earlier on and then more lax guidance later, but still stayed up too often in his workshop and still consumed too much coffee than was healthy.

 

And Sharon…

 

Steve tugs the blanket over his head.

 

Sharon had officially broken up with him the moment they were able to talk. She hadn’t given him a reason; she only said, tears in her eyes, “I’m sorry. I can’t.” Steve watched her walk away, and when he turned, Tony stood there, watching him sympathetically.

 

Steve doesn’t know what he feels about her leaving him—or rather, he knows exactly what he feels, but he doesn’t know how he feels about what he feels. He feels empty, and he feels bereft, like losing something he’s had for so long. But he also feels… relieved in a way.

 

For the last three months (five years), he had watched his other self interact with the other Tony. He had watched him tease and rail on and banter with the other Tony—almost exactly how he’d tease and rail on and banter with his own Tony. He had seen the way they fight together in the midst of battle—like they were dancing (and Steve had to vaguely wonder—and hope—if that was the way he and his own Tony fought). He had seen him flirt with her with teasing words and subtle touches and innuendos that often went above Steve’s head. He had seen him romance her with small but meaningful gifts and dates and whispered words that made her blush. He had seen him seduce her with lowered lashes and meaningful caresses and silent promises. He had seen him kiss her.

 

It was the first time he’d seen them kiss that made him think of kissing his own Tony. Their kiss was chaste and casual as Toni was headed to the office, but it was so full of love and meaning and familiarity that it had Steve freezing in his tracks. They’d apologized to him afterwards, for being insensitive they’d said; they knew about him and his Tony. Steve only waved it away and said it was alright, but later, alone in his room, he replayed the memory over and over in his mind until Toni’s face was replaced with Tony’s.

 

“Hey, soldier.” The words are barely above a whisper, but Steve throws off the blankets and sits up suddenly to find Tony leaning against the jamb of his door, casually holding a glass of scotch against his thigh.

 

“Hey. Come in,” Steve answers, pushing the blanket back and drawing his legs into an Indian sit. Tony settles on the bed in the same position in front of him, staring at and stroking his glass. He takes a sip and then says, “I’m glad you’re back.”

 

“So am I,” Steve agrees then starts tracing patterns on the bed absently, not sure of what to say. Then he thinks of something and says “Tony” at the same time as Tony who says “Steve.” They chuckle at each other, and he motions for Tony to start.

 

“No, no. You go ahead,” Tony offers and then drains his scotch before setting the glass aside.

 

“I just… I missed you,” Steve admits. Tony makes a curious noise at the back of his throat, and Steve is suddenly half afraid that Tony’s going to take cues from Sharon and leave him, so he leans forward and closes the distance between them, kissing Tony softly on the mouth. Tony freezes under his lips, and Steve pulls away sharply, startled at his own behavior. He lifts a hand to cover his mouth and whispers “I’m sorry,” terrified that he’d just pushed Tony away. Tony says nothing and only licks his lips. “Tony—”

 

“Are you sorry that you kissed me or are you saying sorry because you think I didn’t want to be kissed?” Tony cuts in. He seems to have seen something in Steve’s expression, though, because he leans forward and kisses Steve back. It’s brief, but harder, and Steve thinks it’s perfect. When Tony pulls away, Steve reaches for his hand. Only, Tony pulls it out of reach. “Sarah’s yours,” he says, and Steve is terribly, terribly confused.

 

“What?” he asks. Tony reaches for his drink and tips it into his mouth before he remembers it’s empty.

 

“She’s yours. She’s your…” He shuts his eyes and breathes in deeply. “Sharon couldn’t keep her; she didn’t want to be the kind of parent Howard was to me. So I helped her through it, and I helped her find a family to take her.” Steve’s eyes widen. “But when I saw her, I couldn’t give her up. I couldn’t let go of my last link to you. So I adopted her.” Tony lets out a shaky breath. “She’s your daughter, Steve.” Steve says nothing for such a long time that Tony murmurs something softly that Steve doesn’t hear, stands and makes his way out the door.

 

Steve still doesn’t move.

 

……………

 

Tony avoids him. The tower is large enough and Tony is busy enough that he manages to keep from seeing Steve for all of five days.

 

Steve sees Sarah a lot though. At first, Clint and Natasha and Bruce and Thor invite him along when they go out with her. He tags along when they bring her to playschool, and joins them for lunch out or breakfast in the kitchen. They go to the zoo afterwards or have dinner at her favorite restaurant or go swimming at the tower or have picnics in Central Park. She even tags along to SHIELD when they’re there for check ups and paperwork. SHIELD agents all love her, and once, Steve even caught Maria sneaking her a piece of candy.

 

Tony is conspicuously absent from the activities and Sarah notices, but then Clint and Natasha and Bruce and Thor are there to distract her. Steve feels rotten about it anyway.

 

And then one day, Sarah wakes from her afternoon nap and wanders into the family room where Steve is watching Gnomeo and Juliet. He sees her just as she’s on the verge of crying and scoops her into his arms, twirling her around and making her giggle before she recognizes who he is and when she finally does, she’s already tickling him mercilessly and he’s pretending to giggle hysterically.

 

The next day, he receives an invitation to afternoon tea which he participates in with all due pomp and circumstance, and makes sure that he converses pleasantly with Mr. Fluffles and Snuggly Bear. If Clint laughs at him for it, it’s worth it to see a bright smile on Sarah’s face anyway.

 

Steve sees Tony the day after that, worn down and running ragged from day after day of meetings and troubleshooting at the office. He knows because he actively keeps tabs on Tony through Natasha.

 

He sees Tony slip into Sarah’s room where he knows she’s already asleep. He follows and peeks through the crack of the door that Tony didn’t manage to shut properly to see the genius climb into the too-small bed and wrap his arms around her. In her sleep, she rolls over and hugs him back. Tony smiles softly and shuts his eyes and then Steve knows he’s asleep, so he walks silently into the room and draws the blanket over the both of them before sitting down on the floor and watching them sleep.

 

When he wakes up on the pink carpeted floor early the next morning just in time for his usual run, another blanket covers him and Tony is nowhere to be found.

 

……………

 

Steve tugs the straps of her bag over her shoulders and gives her a bright smile.

 

“Ready?” he asks and she bounces in place, vibrating with excitement.

 

“Yes, yes!” He laughs at her enthusiasm and swings her up into his arms before carrying her from the front door of the school to the waiting car. Lemery, a SHIELD agent who Tony hired as Sarah’s personal chauffer, holds open the door for them and they climb in, greeting Leila, another SHIELD agent who’s Sarah’s nanny. Both of them also double as Sarah’s bodyguards.

 

“To Stark Industries, Lem,” Steve instructs and sees the nod before he turns to Sarah. She’s watching the buildings pass by with an enthusiasm expected of a four year old, excitedly pointing out buildings she’s been in and restaurants she likes and Steve can’t help but press a fond kiss to her hair. She makes him promise to take her to the giant ice cream parlor they pass and extracts several more promises for toys and sweets which Steve can’t say no to.

 

“There! There!” she squeals pointing to a short, blocky building in front of them that Steve knows to be Stark Industries R&D Building. “There’s Papa’s office!” Steve laughs and strokes her pigtails.

 

“Yes. We’re going to see your Papa,” he croons and holds her hand through the five more minutes they take to get to the gate. Lemery deposits them at the entrance and Steve has to pick her up to keep her from shooting off into potentially hazardous areas. “Hi,” he greets the receptionist. Unlike Stark Tower, the reception area is hardly decorative at all. Except for a few potted plants and simple paintings, the furniture is purely utilitarian. “Is Tony in?” The girl smiles brightly when she sees Sarah and gives Steve a discreet once-over before answering.

 

“Mr. Stark is in the automobile section. I’ll have someone escort you there,” she says kindly, so Steve thanks her even though her checking him out isn’t all that subtle. They follow the security officer down to the automobile development department and find Tony standing over a ripped-up prototype of a model he plans on unveiling in Spring next year. His suit jacket, Steve saw, is flung over a nearby chair along with his necktie, his shirt sleeves are rolled up over his elbows and he has a pair of welding goggles pushed up over his forehead. There is a small crease between his eyebrows as he considers the car before him and his R&D staff converses with him rapidly. He gestures to the motor with a greasy hand and says something that made the man he was talking to light up with glee.

 

“Papa!” Sarah suddenly yells. Heads jerk up all over the cavernous room to see Steve slap a hand gently over her lips and blush in embarrassment. There is an amused twist to Tony’s mouth as he drops the tool he’s holding and strolls up to the pair of them and then he leans forward slowly and Steve wonders if he’s going to be kissed. His heart leaps to his throat, but Tony only presses a kiss to Sarah’s nose and plucks her out of Steve’s arms.

 

“Naughty girl,” he coos and she giggles. “I told you not to shout when you come down here. What did Papa say?”

 

“That the m—mini—minions might cut off their fingers!” she’s so proud for having remembered that Steve does his best not to burst out laughing. Tony doesn’t bother.

 

“Hey, Cap,” he greets after his laughter has died down. Steve spares him a sincere and bright smile.

 

“Come have lunch with us?” he asks. “We were planning to grab some McDonalds and eat it down in the park.”

 

“McDonalds? How plebian,” Tony scrunches his nose in mock distaste.

 

“Yes! McDonalds! McDonalds!” Sarah squeals, squeezing his cheeks and kissing him and Tony laughs.

 

“Okay, fine, my little monster. Let me just finish up here,” he says and passes her back to Steve.

 

……………

 

He watches him tuck her into bed carefully, gently.

 

Tony draws the covers up to her chin and brushes her hair back. She asks him for a kiss which he gives easily and then murmurs a soft goodnight and then he just watches her until her eyes close and her breathing evens out.

 

“She terrified me,” Tony murmured softly into the room. Steve didn’t doubt who he was talking to even if he didn’t turn around or acknowledge him. “She was so small and breakable and I was afraid of dropping her. And then Sharon told me she wanted me to take her and I was afraid _for_ her.” A pause. “I was so sure I was going to be terrible at this.”

 

“But you aren’t,” Steve says with conviction.

 

“I hope not,” Tony answers. “But I’m still afraid. I’m afraid I’ll hurt her. I’m afraid she’ll hate me. But mostly, I’m afraid of you.” Tony stands and turns to him. “I had always been convinced that you’d come back; I had always hoped and prayed that you would. So I knew that this—this was all temporary because you’d return and you’d want her back. But…” He breaks off, as if he doesn’t know what to say. Steve, though, he knows exactly what to tell him. He steps closer and cups Tony’s head with both his hands.

 

“I’m not taking her away from you. I wouldn’t do that… I _can’t_ ,” he says. “But I also want to be a part of her life… and a part of yours.” Tony looks unconvinced, so Steve continues. “I—I didn’t know how I felt about you before I disappeared. You’re my best friend, but Sharon is…” he trails off to think. “She’s so very familiar and I clung to her because of it because I’d woken up in a future that’s so very different from everything I knew and she was a relief from all of that.

 

“You, on the other hand, are the future personified, and I thought… I knew that I could come to accept this future and live in it and thrive in it, but that my heart would always belong to the past.” Steve presses his forehead to Tony’s and their eyes slide shut. “But then I went to that other universe and I saw what it was like to give my heart to the future. To give it to you…” He felt Tony’s hands grip at the clothes at his waist. “You confuse me at the best of times, Tony. You’re irritating and annoying and abrasive and loud and ridiculous.

 

“But I think I love you anyway.” Tony’s breath hitches.

 

“I can’t begin to tell you what a big mistake you’re making,” he whispers.

 

“Yeah, well I think I’m due to screw up sometime soon anyway,” Steve teases. Tony huffs a laugh and buries his face in Steve’s neck. “Can I kiss you now?” Steve asks and Tony nods.

 

Their lips touch for the third time, but it’s so completely different now because they both knew what they want out of it. Tony’s mouth is soft and pliant and easy against his, and he takes full advantage of it, tilting his head back and pressing harder against him. The lips beneath his open and a tongue snakes out to invite him in, so Steve goes and traces and memorizes every crevice until Tony is clinging to his waist and moaning into his mouth. When they pull apart, they’re breathing heavily, and Tony’s mouth is glistening in the dim light. Steve kisses him just for the sake of it.

 

“You know, I think the song goes ‘first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage,’ not the other way around,” Tony says. Steve only laughs.


End file.
